hi guys! I'd like to share something.
So, I don't exactly know where to begin but I guess I'll start with a year or two ago. My parents were in a rough spot. My step Dad and Mom were fighting. This had already happened once before and I was in the middle of it, with my biological Father. No way I would've lasted if it happened again, especially since I love my Step Dad. In short, seeing my parents drift further from God and each other really made me start losing some faith, and my hope that things would get better. For a large span of 3 years, I've had trouble trusting God. With my parents, with my relationships, and my life in general. Our dog had gotten hit by a car. Then my Dad was doing stuff that led to my parents fighting. It's funny how someone else's faith and the way they interact with others can impact you. Fortunately my parents worked things out over the next couple years because they went to and trusted God with their lives and their relationship. It motivated me.
I still, I didn't pray often, and I definitely didn't read the bible often. But then I went to CIY. It really re opened my Faith in god and replenished it, but it didn't stay for long. However, at the CIY event I went to a couple months ago, they said "don't let CIY be the thing that replenishes your faith each year." and I realized I lacked effort. However, I didn't realize this until a week ago. That ciy event also was about trusting God.
I then got a job, and I started praying to God each night before I went to work. I was super anxious almost every night. My Mom would sometimes pray with me too. She prayed one night that i would start reading the Bible every night . That praying is you talking to God and when you read the Book, it's God talking to you.
I started praying every night on my own. It felt good. Then at youth group one week my prayer request was simple; that my biology grades would go up. My Mom pulled me aside the next day and showed me better ways to study, and talked to me about how you need to put the effort in to get good grades. Ok. My grades improved after that. And then at youth group the next week we talked about finding rythmn in our life with God, and putting the effort into maintaining a relationship with him. After that I started reading the Bible every night before bed, and even setting aside video games and talking to my friends to spend 5-15 minutes alone in my room just listening to God.
I've been doing this for about two weeks now and already feel a lot better. Yeah I rant about stuff I'm not allowed to do and want to do, but looking at it from a Christian point of view I have a good life and I'm confident that God is with me.
If you would've asked me years ago if I trusted God, I would've had a lot of doubt in my answer. Now? No, I trust him and it's final.
I wanted to share that... Heh... Uh yeah and for anyone who has a lot of doubt like I did, he is there for you. He loves you, even though it may not feel like it at some times.
Hey! I'm currently working on a video game! Stay tuned!
Steven/her - Christian - Artist - INFP T