(also probably unofficial) Crushes, boyfriends, and girlfriends <3

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Re: (also probably unofficial) Crushes, boyfriends, and girlfriends <3

Unread post by Misty » Thu May 23, 2019 9:51 pm

aah just found out that my crush likes a girl at his Church, and its probably mutual
I mean, all three of us are way too young to start dating, so things could change, but its doubtful considering he sees her most every Sunday (I've never met her, jsyn)
Kinda crushing, but oh well, I still have hope for future years, even if I never get together with him, I know God has a plan for my life c:
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Re: (also probably unofficial) Crushes, boyfriends, and girlfriends <3

Unread post by Oblivion » Thu Jul 04, 2019 10:05 am

sorry about that Zoe, but yes, God does. (:

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I'm Just gonna to spill some stuff here. Not sure if these are questions or what but idk.

I'm not allowed to date for another 3 years, possibly 6. He told me he's focusing mainly on 3 though. We were messaging each other one night and he asked if I had a certain mindset. This mindset I guess was that we see each other as boyfriend and girlfriend. I do have that mindset. We act like a couple, it's just how we are. We don't kiss or hug or hold hands, but we stay up late video calling or talking, we hang out often, and he acts all playful with me sometimes and goofy. He compliments me, etc.

I told my mom I would never go behind her back and date when I'm not allowed to. The thing is, he also said that until I can date, he's not going to try to date others, and I said obviously same for me. In his words he said "until then, we won't stray" but he's been pretty good about It himself and isn't pushy at all about my mom's rules. He's acted the same with me for as long as we've known each other, which is roughly 4 years. But him saying that makes us feel MORE like a couple than ever. To Me It sounded like 'we're kinda together now so we won't leave each other's

It just makes us sound even more like a couple and even this mindset I have goes against my moral code but I can't do anything about it. Yeah, in my head I refer to him as boyfriend but it's not something I can just stop, right? I guess in a way, I feel like I am disobeying my mom? We have that it's not official relationship, y'know?

I have no clue where this is going.

We went to the movies to see Endgame and that was awesome, just being around him makes me so much happier. He's naturally positive and funny, and I always laugh and smile around him. He's not the most compassionate person but he knows how to listen to me when I need to get something out, and he is encouraging. Most of all, he can make me laugh, which is pretty great to me. He's helped me be a more positive person and to look forward to the future rather than dwell in the past. He's the closest friend I've had in years.

If you respond to this please do not quote it, just @ me or snip everything out. Not really sure if I have a question, just needed to let that out.
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Re: (also probably unofficial) Crushes, boyfriends, and girlfriends <3

Unread post by gabrielle » Fri Jul 05, 2019 3:13 pm

@oblivion i know exactly how you feel

i had a “boyfriend” about 4 years ago and another about 2 years ago and i wasn’t allowed to date them either. it feels weird going against something you’ve been told specifically that you’re not allowed to do, doesn’t it? i’m not old and wise and i’m bad at giving advice, but i’m going to tell you my story.

my parents found out about the first one and that broke their trust in me for a long time. they found out by reading through my text messages a year into the relationship and they found some language that they didn’t quite approve of. i guess that was my bad for engaging in it. i got scared and broke things off with him. i think there were some communication issues with that relationship and i never really set any rules for myself and for us. we had never talked since then and he ended up dying 3 years later. so yeah, that wasn’t the best. i feel bad for never giving him a good explanation as to why i left after having dated him for that long.

and because i’m dumb and don’t learn from my mistakes, i did the same thing the next year. now this was kind of the best ever. my parents never found out about this one, but we were so in love and we’re still really good friends to this day. i think the difference between those two relationships was that i was more confident in myself and i knew my boundaries and where my parents would have liked for me to be at the time.

so i guess it’s a toss-up. i would say to not hide everything from your parents like i did and to take things slow. it seems like you and your friend have things under control and i’m really glad for that. i think it’s okay to consider him your boyfriend because that’s a first for you and it’s exciting, but maybe ease into it with your parents. i’d say if you’re younger than 15 or so, waiting would be a good idea. if you’re a little older, maybe try bringing him around more often and test the waters with your parents? idk this is bad advice but i spent too long typing it to not post it. good luck hahah
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Re: (also probably unofficial) Crushes, boyfriends, and girlfriends <3

Unread post by Oblivion » Fri Jul 05, 2019 8:35 pm

@elle - I had to assure my mom I wasn't going behind her back before the movies, I want her and my dad to trust me.

See, but I'm not trying to go against my parents. It's just kinda of like I'll say something flirty or he will but neither of us really meant to.... I wouldnt hold his hand though even if we were alone, I'd die from guilt haha

I spend a lot of time with him, usually with our friends and he doesn't try to go against my mother's rules and he respects their boundaries as well. I trust him not to 'pull a move' and try to kiss me or hold my hand. I'm not hiding anything big from my parents, and if my mom wants to know what we're talking about online I tell her what we're talking about. I am 15+, and I feel like the advice you're giving depends on the parents as well. Personally, I definitely couldn't test the waters with my parents lol

I never call him boyfriend out loud, I refuse to. It's almost slipped out of my mouth before and he's already accidentally called me girlfriend when talking about me to people. I can't exactly describe my thoughts but to sum it up it's the couple but not a couple relationship
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Re: (also probably unofficial) Crushes, boyfriends, and girlfriends <3

Unread post by gabrielle » Fri Jul 05, 2019 9:14 pm

@oblivion, then it seems like you have it all under control! you’re definitely being smarter about it than i had been when i was younger. obviously i’ve learned from my mistakes at this point since i’m a bit older now and it seems like you’re a lot more sensible haha
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Re: (also probably unofficial) Crushes, boyfriends, and girlfriends <3

Unread post by BayoDino » Sat Jul 06, 2019 5:58 am

my best boyfriend is oakhearted
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Re: (also probably unofficial) Crushes, boyfriends, and girlfriends <3

Unread post by Oblivion » Mon Jul 08, 2019 12:47 am

@elle - I still do appreciate you though, and you giving your thoughts on my thoughts! <3
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Re: (also probably unofficial) Crushes, boyfriends, and girlfriends <3

Unread post by Mistfox » Sat Jul 20, 2019 8:17 pm

I’ve kinda had a huge crush on my best friend for around 3 or 4 years. I can’t tell what she thinks of me though. She tells me she loves me and I love her but there are different kinds of love and I don’t know what one she’s feeling. I want to know but I’m scared if she feels different it might affect our friendship and I honestly can’t live without her. She’s the only person I can trust and I love her more than my own mother, I know that’s probably wrong but she is just the most amazing, gorgeous, kind person in the whole world and we’re really close and even though both of us have shared some of our darker secrets it’s just brought us closer and closer and last Christmas there was a chance she was going to die and I felt like my world was crashing down, I need her, I don’t know what to do.

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Re: (also probably unofficial) Crushes, boyfriends, and girlfriends <3

Unread post by gabrielle » Sat Jul 20, 2019 10:19 pm

@ mistfox

time for the next segment of iffy relationship advice by elle:

this is the CLASSIC lesbian crush situation and i am absolutely living for it awww. i’ve literally dreamed of having a friend like that. you’re so lucky. i don’t know you or your situation, but if it were me and there was THAT much buildup, i’d find a moment to tell her how i feel.

maybe just give her hints up until then though? like just cute little gestures that show her you care for her. make deliberate little special moments for yourselves so that she knows it’s intentional and she knows the vibe you’re trying to set off. if you do end up saying something to her, be sure to keep an open mind about her feelings and just because she may not feel the same way doesn’t mean that you guys can’t still be best friends.

oh, and make sure she’s not straight. accidentally made that mistake once haha. it’s not pretty.
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